Distinguishing software guy from a non-software guy

How crazy software engineers gradually become

A Non-Software guy thinks there are 1000 bytes in a kilobyte. A Software-guy is convinced that there are 1024 meters in a kilometer.

Non-Software guy : Hey.. I've just become a member of Rotract Club. Software-guy : public, private, friendly or protected?

Non-Software guy : Hey.. My submarine isn't sinking in water!! What could be wrong? Software-guy : may be you have used float instead of double in the software.

Non-Software guy : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer... PM : how do you say that? Non-Software guy : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!

Non-Software guy : Hey Bill, Can you do me a favor? Plz pass on these 10,000 dollars to John..? Software-guy : Ohh.. Sure.. Why not? Should i pass by value or by reference?

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Surgeons!

Five surgeons are discussing who are the best type of surgical patients.

The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."

The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

The fourth surgeon chimes in, "You know, I like construction workers ... those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."

But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed, "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."

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How to put the right person in the right chair?

Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment.

Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation:

  • If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks - PUT THEM IN ACCOUNTS DEPT.
  • If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks PUT THEM IN ENGINEERING.
  • If they are arranging the bricks in some other order - PUT THEM IN PLANNING.
  • If they are throwing the bricks at each other - PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
  • If they are sleeping - PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
  • If they have broken the bricks into pieces - PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.
  • If they are sitting idle - PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
  • If they have thrown the bricks out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
  • If they are clinging onto the bricks - PUT THEM IN TREASURY.
  • If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN SALES.
  • If they have already left for the day - PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
  • If they are staring out of the window - PUT THEM IN THE EXPORT.

AND last but not least..........

If they are talking to each other and not a brick has moved - PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT

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Why do Men Wear Clothes?

Is it really true? :P

why_men_clothes_7 why_men_clothes_1 why_men_clothes_2 why_men_clothes_3 why_men_clothes_4 why_men_clothes_5 why_men_clothes_6

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Hippo Friends

I got this kind of friends. How sweet! (I think...)

hippofriends

This is how business is done

Boy this is one smart father! :-)

This is how business is done

Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice Son : "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."

Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter." Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank." Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."

President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law." President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!

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